Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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