it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
