about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
