Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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