I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
