...so i touched it.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
