you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
