he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
