Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
