Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
