I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
