May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
