I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
