do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
