Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
