no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
there is puke in my bra ... again
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