She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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