bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
