i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
