saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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