Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
