she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
