We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
