the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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