I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
