idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
