Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
she smelled like a LAN party
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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