what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
