Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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