SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
