god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
