i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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