Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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