Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
