i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
