We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
