why didn't you poke me back
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
