Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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