There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
