Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Four minutes until I can fart!
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
