Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
People in love make me want to vomit
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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