god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
