Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
tell your sister to shave her snatch
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
