You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
