i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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