ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
