My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
