i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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