So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
