take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
