I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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