Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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