I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
